Your Unique Love Profile – Members Content

December 15, 2015/Francine & Byron Pirola
6_dreamstime_52782389 [Converted]

 

Respect and Cherishment

Do you lean towards Cherishment or Respect in your experience of love?

  • I don't care so much for thisThis is quite niceI like this a lotThis is REALLY important to me
    Caring for me, being tender and gentle with me
    Being of service to me, doing things for me that I enjoy
    Nurturing me, doting on me
    Affirming my attractiveness to you
    Being considerate and thoughtful, giving way to my preference
    Being protective of me
    Self-sacrificing to save me from an unpleasant task
    Listening to me, being interested in my inner life
    Trusting me with your emotions and inner thoughts, being emotionally open
    Being truthful and honest with me
    Providing materially for me
    Touching me affectionately, hugs and kisses
    Thinking fondly about me while we are apart
    Planning for the time we are together
  • I don't care so much for thisThis is quite niceI like this a lotThis is REALLY important to me
    Expressing appreciation for me
    Acknowledging the sacrifices I make for the sake of our future
    Admiring me, especially in front of others
    Reinforcing my authority to our children
    Speaking respectfully about me to others
    Affirming my strength in body and character
    Trusting my judgment
    Looking for the good in me
    Allowing me to initiate and be the leader, being willing to follow me
    Expressing your desire to be close to me sexually
    Responding to my gestures for sexual intimacy
    Doing recreational things together
    Taking care of your appearance
    Encouraging me to try new things and take risks

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Love Busters

For each of the following Love Busters, think about how strongly it impacts on your sense of being loved, connected and valued

  • Doesn't bother me or doesn't applyIs irritatingUpsets meIs totally devastating
    Lying to me or withholding information from me
    Breaking promises, being unreliable
    Being emotionally distant or closed, withdrawing emotionally from me
    Not consulting me when making decisions or disregarding my preferences
    Conveying that I am just being ‘tolerated’, that my emotions are not important
    Not talking with me, ignoring me or getting impatient with me when I’m talking
    Organising me, making commitments for me without consultation
    Criticising me
    Nagging me, reminding me of the things I said I’d do
    Being indifferent to, or not noticing, the sacrifices I make for us
    Letting your physical appearance go
    Teasing me
    Hitting, shoving or being physically rough with me
    Withholding non-sexual affection or withdrawing physically from me
    Withholding sexual touch and expression or rejecting my attempts to connect with you sexually
    Shouting at me, abusing me verbally, calling me names
    Not contributing to the housework and care of the home
    Taking my contribution to the home or finances for granted
    Not contributing sufficiently to the maintenance of the home
    Spending money carelessly
    Withdrawing from me, shutting down emotionally
    Not coming home
    Not spending time or giving attention to our children
    Complaining about not having enough money
    Being negative about my achievements
    Making negative judgments about me, jumping to conclusions about my motives
    Not trusting that I love you or am committed to you
    Not considering my judgment, questioning my decisions or motives
    Not spending time with me doing things I enjoy
    Spending a lot of time with your friends
    Withdrawing into drink, TV, books, gambling, drugs etc
    Other...

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Francine & Byron Pirola

Francine & Byron Pirola are the co-founders and principal authors of the SmartLoving series. They are passionate about living Catholic marriage to the full and helping couples reach their marital potential. They have been married since 1988 and have five children, and a growing number of grandchildren. Their articles may be reproduced for non commercial purposes with appropriate acknowledgement and back links. For Media Enquiries Please Contact us here

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24 Comments

  1. james vostoganis on July 20, 2025 at 1:15 pm

    Thank you, we enjoyed this

    Reply
  2. pollyfesilva@gmail.com on March 21, 2025 at 8:48 am

    Great way to remind us what we really appreciate.

    Reply
  3. Dande.alvarado on January 7, 2025 at 11:01 pm

    Acknowledging and respecting each other’s differences is important

    Reply
  4. HCarlson on August 10, 2024 at 7:22 am

    Seemed we were repeating the same sections and lost track of which was for male and female.

    Reply
  5. caterina fallace on March 11, 2024 at 9:05 pm

    enjoyed this exercise

    Reply
  6. Patrick Uzoka on September 4, 2023 at 12:28 pm

    We really enjoyed this. We have equally sent to our emails for reminders both for the present and the future…

    Reply
  7. Louise Clarke on February 20, 2023 at 5:43 pm

    picked up some things we did not know even after 14 years together

    Reply
  8. Anna Patrick on February 8, 2023 at 1:45 am

    This is enlightening

    Reply
  9. Lisa Hirth on January 14, 2023 at 3:37 pm

    Thanks

    Reply
  10. Teressa on January 9, 2023 at 7:12 am

    This was very helpful, we enjoyed it

    Reply
  11. Lucyann Udum on October 17, 2022 at 7:56 pm

    This is amazing, we enjoyed it

    Reply
  12. Sisilia Seeto on August 16, 2022 at 7:19 pm

    Very enlightening, we enjoyed this.

    Reply
  13. Faith Joy Vito on July 28, 2022 at 11:37 pm

    We like it so much

    Reply
  14. ricirene2022 on June 18, 2022 at 7:53 am

    Enlightening!

    Reply
  15. JessicaM101507 on June 10, 2022 at 1:55 pm

    it was great

    Reply
  16. Henry Voges on June 6, 2022 at 6:41 am

    Effective and applicable in a lot of ways!

    Reply
  17. rafal.ola on May 30, 2022 at 7:26 am

    Great☺️

    Reply
  18. Paul Murphy on October 1, 2021 at 3:57 am

    Great, very enlightening!!!

    Reply
  19. Paul Murphy on October 1, 2021 at 3:56 am

    Great!!!

    Reply
  20. amanda kapernick on July 4, 2021 at 4:08 pm

    enjoyed this aprt alot

    Reply
  21. Chinelo Okafor on December 23, 2020 at 10:10 am

    So enlightening and real..Thank you.

    Reply
    • Chinelo Okafor on December 23, 2020 at 10:11 am

      I couldn’t agree more

      Reply
  22. Theresa Morkel on November 19, 2020 at 5:46 am

    WE enjoyed this, thank you 🙂

    Reply
  23. Annemarie McLaren on October 27, 2020 at 10:56 pm

    We loved this very much. We’ve sent to email and will keep this foe the present and the future…

    Reply

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