The Body As A Theology – Members Content

Actions are far more powerful than words. Every look or touch can communicate clear messages that reveal your attraction and your desire to be for the other. As those messages grow more generous and committed, so too does the corresponding body language.

All love is based on truth and sincerity. In the love between a man and a woman, trust is both powerful and fragile. Couples have a sacred obligation to be completely honest in what they communicate with their body language, because it is trusted far more than the words they might say.

Sex, reduced to an activity

The prevalent and seemingly harmless attitude that sex is simply an activity, something you do rather than something you are saying, can severely handicap a marriage and ultimately cause great pain and isolation. Experience teaches us that when sex is approached as an activity it can become impersonal, performance-oriented and self-centred. If it does, it loses meaning and effectiveness in drawing a couple closer. As they devalue the significance and priority of love making, they can feel used or guilty and become more and more estranged from each other.

“If a man relates to a woman in a way that he considers her only as an object to appropriate… he condemns himself … to become… only an object of appropriation for her and not a gift …”
Theology of the Body n 33. pg 260.

Sacramental Body Language

Rather than a mere activity or athletic performance, sexual intercourse is a form of communication designed to speak your total, mutual and permanent self-donation. It speaks not only of your desire to be one flesh for life, but through the use of the ‘genitals’, it links your love with future generations.

Regardless of your sexual history you can approach your Sacrament with a new awareness of the meaning of the language of the body and you can intentionally communicate messages to each other that are sincere and profound. It is through the messages of intercourse within the Sacrament of Marriage that you can also begin to understand the messages of love that God has for you in Christ: “I freely give you my body; I want to be one with you; I love you totally, passionately, permanently and fruitfully.”

Stories of the Heart

Like most of my friends, I started using pornography in high school. At first it was just girlie magazines, but soon it was X-rated movies and then I used the internet to download stuff. I didn’t think it was doing any harm and thought that once I got married I’d put it out of my life. I wish it was that easy. I didn’t know I was addicted until I tried to quit. I just couldn’t get those images out of my mind. I’d seen it all. I kept pushing my wife to try new things; I was treating her like a sex object – just a body for my lust. It was deeply hurtful to her and destructive for our relationship. We had a lot of arguments about sex. Porn almost destroyed our marriage and our family. I can’t tell you how much I regret ever touching the stuff.