On a Mission to Love – Members Content

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Every couple wants to avoid divorce and get along without too many fights. A successful marriage however, is much more than just this; it is a life-long union in which both spouses flourish as individuals and enjoy a deep and passionate intimacy. Thinking only in terms of ‘avoiding divorce’ is very limited. It’s rather like a student who only aims to pass: if you miss the mark by even a little, you are already in trouble; you’re likely to fail.

The Church has a different proposition: make marriage your vocation, your whole life’s work. Convince this man that he is loved and appreciated; convince this woman that she is understood and cherished. That’s the job description. Actually, it is more like a mission, and if you approach it with a pro-active mindset, you can take it on with confidence and enthusiasm. You can dedicate all of your talents and intellect to achieving your goal.

The Church asks you to put your whole self into this vocation, as a total gift of self-donation. Fifty-fifty doesn’t really work because it leads you to hold back and to keep score. Self-donation implies that you choose it and that you do so freely. This is being pro-active. You don’t have to wait for the other to lead. You each take responsibility for your mission to love.

Your potential to love your whole life long is all in your ‘will’: you choose it, and you are freer than you think to make choices that will be good for you. It is not difficult or mysterious once you clarify the mission, clear the obstacles, identify your resources and make the most of them.

A vocation is a life choice to which God calls us. He is always eager to send the graces we need to get the job done. So, in marriage, we can pray for passion, enthusiasm, generosity or gratitude and we are assured of God’s help. God is as ready to provide what we need as a mother whose teenager asks for the vacuum cleaner!

It is the Lord’s deepest desire that we love one another as God has loved us. The Father sends us to each other to bring about his purposes, especially when we draw out each other’s goodness and affirm each other’s virtue.

It is always difficult to see ourselves objectively or in perspective. In fact, we cannot even see ourselves physically without a mirror. Likewise we best see ourselves most clearly through the eyes of those who love us.

For our part, if we keep our eyes focused on the other’s masculine or feminine virtue we will not only be drawn to them, but we will feel blessed to be theirs. It will cultivate gratitude and generosity.

The reality is that if you are looking for faults in each other, you will surely find them. Equally so, if you are looking for virtue you will find that too. The more you affirm the good that you see the more that good will be drawn out, and the more you will feel wealthy in love.

The Church has great ambition for your marriage! In choosing to marry in the Catholic Church, you are choosing to make marriage your mission.

Francine & Byron Pirola

Francine & Byron Pirola are the co-founders and principal authors of the SmartLoving series. They are passionate about living Catholic marriage to the full and helping couples reach their marital potential. They have been married since 1988 and have five children, and a growing number of grandchildren. Their articles may be reproduced for non commercial purposes with appropriate acknowledgement and back links. For Media Enquiries Please Contact us here

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94 Comments

  1. Alyn Salaria on October 7, 2025 at 5:42 am

    Perfect for engaged or soon-to-be-married couples who want to grow together and prepare for a happy, faith-filled marriage.

  2. Hugo Sandoval on October 2, 2025 at 9:13 am

    It makes more stronger relationship between us and is very important

  3. Jane Creely on October 1, 2025 at 5:02 am

    very interesting

  4. Snnopuechi on September 30, 2025 at 6:08 pm

    This is very insightful and informative. We are happy to e doing this marriage courses.

  5. Eduard Leandro Hernandez on September 21, 2025 at 3:25 pm

    Wonderful Explanation, its really important have the understanding and be supportive when it requires

  6. Crasto25 on September 3, 2025 at 10:49 pm

    Insightful and powerful

  7. Mick ONeill on August 20, 2025 at 3:28 pm

    I totally agree.

  8. Shenaly DIJOS on July 9, 2025 at 10:25 pm

    I have the realisation of the phrase ” Convince this man that he is loved and appreciated; convince this woman that she is understood and cherished. ” This is so true!

  9. Falakika taiseni on June 22, 2025 at 7:20 pm

    love this

  10. Samantha Khoo on June 13, 2025 at 5:21 pm

    This is just my first and very informative to both of us.

  11. Katy Pazanin on June 2, 2025 at 1:45 pm

    It was very informative and interesting

  12. Maria Sapieha on April 12, 2025 at 7:13 am

    I think this is very good course that every couple should enroll as all of this informations are essential knowledge about how to create very strong relationship for life between spouses

  13. rafayvicky on April 5, 2025 at 11:45 pm

    I, really appreciate the great effort of Francine & Byron Pirola who started such a helpful worldwide project. Blessings for your support. Thank you for helping us to prepare a better marriage future.

  14. Novita Odelia Reis Goncalves on March 26, 2025 at 1:23 pm

    This course is really helpful and interesting for me and my fiancé to make us more faithful and love each other more.

  15. Joshua Campagna on February 24, 2025 at 5:32 am

    Very informative, thank you.

  16. Enrique Nino de Guzman Velasquez on February 16, 2025 at 9:13 pm

    very informative video

  17. Ryan Phillips on January 31, 2025 at 11:42 pm

    A very enjoyable and informative read. Ryan & Asil.

  18. Chinemerem Stellamaris Nwadike on January 9, 2025 at 4:47 am

    Very educative

  19. Linsley Barreto on December 18, 2024 at 8:09 am

    Making marriage a mission has always been a true mission that’ll keep our marriage forever strong and wealthy
    Thanks for the amazing information

  20. Angie Krajina on October 18, 2024 at 8:17 am

    Great insight and informative

  21. Kelvin Omene on October 4, 2024 at 7:58 am

    This is quite an informative and inspiring session.

  22. frybaby3024 on September 4, 2024 at 7:20 am

    very informative and is part of my practice now

  23. Neshamah Jaleco on August 24, 2024 at 11:26 am

    Vital mission to keep relationships growing and pondering. KR, Nesh & JP

  24. Oscar Ezeonu on August 17, 2024 at 7:23 pm

    Motivating and encouraging

  25. Sakeesan Sivarajah on August 9, 2024 at 10:16 am

    Very Helpful and informative.

  26. dansobczyk on August 8, 2024 at 9:29 am

    Well thought out and instructive.

  27. dansobczyk on August 8, 2024 at 9:27 am

    interesting and informative. exciting information

  28. HCarlson on August 5, 2024 at 10:42 am

    We enjoyed reading this and it provided valuable insight and thought on the importance of a loving and successful relationship.

  29. CCLopez1956 on August 5, 2024 at 6:23 am

    This is well presented, enlightening -I love the words used!

  30. Clair Murphy on July 28, 2024 at 11:18 pm

    I found this interesting to read. We have already developed a mission in our relationship and this is a reminder for us both to take responsibility by loving and appreciating one another feeling understood and cherished as well as overcoming the challenges we experience in life.

  31. UYEN LE on July 22, 2024 at 9:52 pm

    It’s left me with a lot of wonderful things to think about. Thank you so much.

  32. Abbey Coulstock on July 7, 2024 at 5:39 pm

    For anybody reading this comment, I wish you infinite love and happiness.

  33. Karmelin Gomes on July 6, 2024 at 2:32 am

    Thanks for information

  34. Carla Coradini on June 6, 2024 at 7:56 am

    We are really enjoying the course and learning for your experience.

  35. Constance Bakopoulos on May 22, 2024 at 7:54 pm

    Love the way you say to look for the good and you will find and in turn and the more you will find worthy in love. Such a lovely way to develop a positive loving marriage.

  36. VU TRUNG KIEN NGUYEN on March 22, 2024 at 10:38 pm

    Thank you for explanation and useful information. This helps strength our relationship.

  37. Sharon Leota on March 16, 2024 at 11:28 pm

    We loved reading this, it was very informative

  38. Dorota Jozwik on March 14, 2024 at 10:24 am

    We enjoyed this , it was very insightful.

  39. dmforever on March 7, 2024 at 6:43 pm

    It was very informative, reflective and easy to understand.

  40. Valfiya Aggie Cardozo on March 5, 2024 at 11:58 pm

    Very informative

  41. Agnes Wong on January 17, 2024 at 12:59 am

    Insightful and very practical

  42. William McClure on January 13, 2024 at 7:54 am

    Very insightful and helpful

  43. John Kesser on January 6, 2024 at 2:11 pm

    So far we have enjoyed the content and discussion questions.

  44. Henry Ezeokafor on September 29, 2023 at 8:13 pm

    IT IS quite interesting and very insightful

  45. Kathleen Mulligan on August 28, 2023 at 2:37 am

    Very insightful thank you

  46. Arneliz on August 10, 2023 at 10:24 pm

    It deepened the knowledge of our mission as married couple

  47. Michael Bojanowski on July 6, 2023 at 7:32 pm

    Much appreciated information.

  48. Avelina Patac on May 1, 2023 at 12:04 am

    A good example

  49. Mary Ann Blando on February 10, 2023 at 7:45 pm

    This is so enlightening and we enjoyed answering the questions together.

  50. Onyinye Chiamaka Obiesie on February 10, 2023 at 5:01 am

    Thank you for this platform. Simple and straight to the point

  51. Debbie Bihanycz on February 6, 2023 at 12:22 am

    Very insightful read

  52. Carolina Georges on January 12, 2023 at 6:15 pm

    interesting and informative thanks

  53. Nicole Collins on October 18, 2022 at 10:27 pm

    The teaching of balancing work and marriage is a great lesson in not losing sight of what is important to marriage.

  54. Brian Terence Fernandes on October 16, 2022 at 10:46 pm

    lovely listening to you guys

  55. Gintare Meskauskiene on October 11, 2022 at 12:21 am

    It’s a lovely true

  56. Adriana Villasenor Garcia on September 25, 2022 at 8:12 pm

    This lesson was very helpful and it was nice to remember some of the details of our relationship at the beginning and what we have to look forward for the rest of our life.

  57. wallis_cruz on September 23, 2022 at 4:32 pm

    You describe a beautiful approach to marriage and the foundational elements that need to be maintained for longevity; love appreciation and respect.

  58. Daryl Barboza on August 13, 2022 at 7:53 pm

    Very insightful and positive read.

  59. spswires17 on August 13, 2022 at 12:36 pm

    This explanation of marriage as a mission is amazing! We are excited to be on this journey. Thank you

  60. Sisilia Seeto on August 13, 2022 at 12:39 am

    Very powerful first lesson. Made my partner and I open up a lot.

  61. Basil Nnaemeka Ogbu on August 12, 2022 at 5:19 pm

    Now, I’m excited to go through the course.
    Very educative…

  62. Phillip Wilson on July 24, 2022 at 8:30 pm

    Very interesting article. What stood out for me is not setting yourself up for failure, you should set yourself up for success. A positive mindset is key for not only your partner but also yourself through many aspects of life together.

  63. Joelle Lucie Villars Sooben on July 18, 2022 at 3:55 am

    a very good read.

  64. Natalia Ilkow on June 27, 2022 at 7:40 pm

    very informative

  65. Maria Plummer on June 12, 2022 at 2:14 am

    This course definitely explains the catholic definition of marriage and how to achieve marriage as mission. A great start and I look forward to the rest of the course. Thank you so much for aiding our marriage preparations.

  66. Henry Voges on June 6, 2022 at 1:26 am

    Very spiritual and enlightening first session

  67. Teresa Alessia Cardinale on May 2, 2022 at 8:28 pm

    It is very interesting course

    • Jomin Kalarickal Johnson on September 28, 2022 at 5:34 pm

      It is a very interesting module to start. Helped to know about Catholic marriage is a vocation call that partners need to keep life long.

  68. Orissa Anthony on March 17, 2022 at 2:37 pm

    So interesting, what a great idea to do this course!

  69. krycawhiteside on March 17, 2022 at 12:50 pm

    This reading couldn’t have come at a more perfect time. It truly put things into perspective for us.

  70. Nhu Ngo on March 11, 2022 at 9:25 pm

    The story and explanation is great! We love each other as God has loved us. Amen!

  71. Lyssius Chipendo on February 6, 2022 at 10:32 pm

    its always best to go all in , and let God lead….

  72. Tony Muchna on February 6, 2022 at 7:53 pm

    So true. It is so easy to find fault with each other but often difficult to praise each other

  73. lukekakudji on September 25, 2021 at 1:22 pm

    really interesting , thank you .

  74. ColeSam21 on September 8, 2021 at 4:13 am

    Great and informative read!

  75. admin@gkmbuilding.com.au on July 17, 2021 at 1:26 pm

    Thank you it was s very insightful and thought provoking read

  76. admin@gkmbuilding.com.au on July 17, 2021 at 1:25 pm

    very insightful and thought provoking – thank you

  77. amanda kapernick on July 4, 2021 at 4:23 pm

    this was a good read

  78. Melissa La Pace on March 21, 2021 at 7:40 pm

    This reading was very insightful. One thing that stuck with us … “if you look for virtue you will find it.”

  79. Warren Clark on March 20, 2021 at 10:32 pm

    Well explained, and very easy to understand.,

  80. Tatsiana Paliashchuk on February 23, 2021 at 7:39 am

    Very easy to understand and very informative . Thank you

  81. Patience Nwaokolo on February 2, 2021 at 1:20 am

    Very informative, and really makes you think what bases as a strong marriage.

  82. Loretta Morris on December 29, 2020 at 8:46 pm

    Something that stayed with me- “The more you affirm the good that you see the more that good will be drawn out, and the more you will feel wealthy in love.” Very true!

  83. Argelia Zaucha on September 6, 2020 at 7:40 am

    The reality is that if you are looking for faults in each other, you will surely find them. Equally so, if you are looking for virtue you will find that too. The more you affirm the good that you see the more that good will be drawn out, and the more you will feel wealthy in love.

    This is very true! It is important to see the person as he/she is to avoid wrong perceptions, but I agree that the good is always greater than the faults.

  84. Amy Forte on August 31, 2020 at 4:53 am

    We started off very negative life together isnt a misson its a joy… But sloely we started to understand that at our lowest points we might need to think differently… Be steonger on our lifes misson believe in what we have. So yes an amazing eye opener very realistic. Thank you.

  85. thomas.wigg on February 8, 2020 at 5:38 pm

    what a lovey read very informative

  86. melani.m@live.com.au on September 4, 2019 at 11:33 pm

    This was very informative and helpful thank you!

  87. nassermendes on May 13, 2019 at 2:51 am

    “The reality is that if you are looking for faults in each other, you will surely find them.”, so insightful. Thank you for sharing this.

  88. tomshell on January 16, 2019 at 11:25 am

    Thank you for this information. It was insightful

  89. ferrarawedding on July 2, 2018 at 11:33 am

    A very interesting read.

  90. Dominika80 on October 28, 2017 at 7:03 am

    Thank you for amazing explanation of marriage as mission

    • Boyoung Kim on January 30, 2021 at 11:40 am

      It makes more stronger relationship between us.

  91. Andrew Stewart on September 6, 2017 at 3:50 pm

    It was very informative and interesting

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