The Power of Prayer – Members Content
“Whatever you ask in my name I will do, so as to glorify the Father in the Son. Anything you ask in my name I will do.”
John 14:13-14
Openness to God
Prayer does not change God, it does not always change the situation, but it does change the heart of the person praying. It is an invaluable tool for turning your hearts toward each other as you live out your sacrament on a daily basis.
Prayer for Special Graces
A grace is simply help from God in the form of spiritual strengths, like courage, honesty or generosity. There are dozens of different graces and God wants to give them to you if they will help you to love each other better. When you pray for a special grace you simply ask the Lord for exactly what you need at a specific point in time in order to be more effective in loving the other.
One grace that is foundational to marriage is to love with passion. Passion enables you to be more fully present to the person you love in all your masculinity or femininity. It creates a desire for unity, to know and be known, that is urgent, affirming, generous and grateful. When you pray for this grace, it can lift you out of self-centredness into relationship with each other. Many couples pray for passion every day.
Other graces for which you can pray include:
- Compassion, humility – when you have hurt each other
- Wisdom, unity – when you are making an important decision
- Generosity, gratitude – when you are feeling selfish or hard done by
- Ambition, enthusiasm – when you are feeling despondent
or hopeless.
Stories of the Heart
After a heated discussion with my wife over whether to get a new kitchen and bathroom, my prayer was “Please Lord change her! Make her more rational; make her see that it will just take us deeper and deeper into debt.” When I cooled down a bit, I did some soul searching and instead prayed for ‘understanding’. I came to realise that I had been self-righteous and unkind by just dashing her long held hopes out of hand. It was important to my wife to investigate the various options and costs. Her dreams for a better home were not aimed at keeping us in debt, but rather in enhancing the quality of our life. I was reacting out of my own insecurity and fear of being unable to provide for my family. Once I understood both my own reaction and the deeper values being expressed by my wife, we were able to work towards a solution. And yes, you guessed it, we now have a wonderful new kitchen and bathroom that we both enjoy!
I used to pray a lot for patience when the kids would get to me. What I was really wanting though was not patience, but different kids! I was afraid that they would grow up spoilt and I’d just get walked over all the time. Once I realised that I wasn’t really open to being more patient, I refocused my prayer on the fears that were driving my impatience with them. When I gave those fears to the Lord, I found new reserves of love and patience.
“Grace is favour, the free and undeserved help that God gives us to respond to his call to become children of God.” CCC 1996
