One Flesh Union – Members Content

The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.
For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
Do not deprive one another except perhaps by agreement for a set time, to devote yourselves to prayer, and then come together again.
Corinthians 7:3-5

Joyful Availability

So much of our contemporary thinking is based on the notion of ‘Sexual RIghts’. We are told that we have a right to freely express our sexuality in any way; that we should be free to do so without shame or embarassment or feeling judged by anyone else; that not to do so is to dangerously ‘repress’ ourselves in an unhealthy way. In this paradigm, if I don’t feel like having sex with my spouse, then he or she has no right to demand it or to resent my rejection of it.

Christian marriage is based on a very different understanding.

As a couple married in the Catholic church, you are called to live your marriage according to higher, more self-sacrificing ideals. St Paul tells us that the marriage vows requires us to surrender to each other, willingly seeking to meet the deep emotional needs of our spouse. At times, this may require us to be attentive and present as our spouse talks about something important to him or her. We may be stressed and busy or distracted, but our vows call us nonetheless to be available – and joyfully so!

Sometimes, your future spouse will urgently crave the physical comfort of sexual communion. It may not be a convenient time for you. It may be the last thing you are looking for. Perhaps you are exhausted after a very full day and are simply wanting to collapse in front of the television. Or perhaps you are annoyed and carrying resentment from a recent argument.

God calls you to step outside of your emotions and to connect with your deepest values – to give yourself, totally, generously, joyfully to each other, even when you don’t feel like doing so… especially when you don’t feel like doing so.

It’s not easy. It’s really hard, probably one of the hardest things you will ever do in your marriage. But it is incredibly important. So important that St Paul says there is only one thing more important – time spent with God in prayer!

Reflect: Joyful Availability

1. How do you feel when your fiancé rejects your attempts to connect with you through intimate conversation?
2. What is your reaction to the idea that God calls you to be joyfully available to each other throughout your marriage?