Mentor: Tips from the Experts
Session 1: We like to bring the ‘Gender-based Friendship’ reflection point forward before we show the DVD because we find it helpful to have a bit more time with the couple before we play the DVD. When the couple finish the DVD, they go straight onto the Couple Exercise. – Elizabeth & Graham Barter, Chatswood, NSW.
Session 3: We find that couples often get stuck with The Values Based Decision Making exercise. We’ve found that it works best if we help the couple isolate one, very narrow issue for discussion. Eg, if they choose ‘housework’, they will almost always get tangled up arguing about different values related to different areas of housework. So we ask them to pick one very specific aspect, like ‘cleaning up the kitchen after dinner’. That way, they can identify their values more easily, learn tool and resolve their differences with success before moving onto other aspects, like doing the laundry, cleaning the bathrooms, dusting, cooking, garden maintenance etc. – Byron & Francine Pirola, Kensington, NSW.
Session 6: We like to invite the couple to join us for a family meal before the final session. Couples really appreciate this as, by this time, they’ve got to know us and the children fairly well. – Phil & Trish Anderson, Pennant Hills, NSW
Small Groups: When we run the small groups (usually 2-4 couples) we like to meet with each couple at least once on their own. This allows them to raise any issues with us privately and gives us a chance to get to know the couple a little better. – Dan & Ann Hill, London, GB
Large Groups: The course adapts quite well with larger groups but it is helpful to have extra couples on hand to assist with individual coaching for some sessions. For example, the Stop-Reflect-Connect exercises in Session 3 and the Family of Origin exercise in Session 4. Alternatively, offer an optional follow-up mentoring session for those who want it.
