Intentional Lovemaking – Members Content

Avoiding Pregnancy…confidently

If a couple using Natural Fertility Methods wish to avoid a pregnancy at a particular time, they must abstain from intercourse during the time of their combined fertility.

The reliability of different birth control methods in avoiding pregnancy is summarised in the appendix on page 5.3. The Billings Ovulation Method, Creighton Method and the Sympto-Thermal Method compare favourably with other popular birth control methods. The Standard Days and Two Day Method are slightly less reliable but are still within the acceptable range.

Couples wishing to use any of these natural methods confidently are advised to seek instruction from an accredited teacher. More information on locating local teaching centres or correspondence courses can be found on the SmartLoving website.

Achieving Pregnancy… naturally

As natural methods do not impede or suppress fertility in any way, there is no delay in the return to fertility that is often experienced with some contraceptives. If a couple wish to achieve a pregnancy, they can time intercourse so that their chances of conception are optimised.

Many couples experience difficulty conceiving. By anticipating the approach of ovulation, modern methods of natural fertility management assist the couple in accurately identifying what may be a very narrow window of combined fertility.

For those couples who have reproductive disorders such as endometriosis, hormonal imbalances, polycystic ovary syndrome and others, Naprotechnology, in combination with the Creighton Method, offers a comprehensive and ethically sound treatment aimed at restoring fertility so that conception can occur naturally. See the SmartLoving website for more information.

Intentional Intercourse

All natural fertility methods require the couple to abstain from sexual intercourse during the time of combined fertility if they wish to avoid pregnancy. While this period of abstinence (typically 8-12 days) will at times be difficult, fertility is only one of many reasons for abstinence in a couple’s life. Stress, tiredness, separation due to work commitments and sickness are just some aspects of modern living that infringe on our availability for sexual intercourse.

All couples need to find creative ways of dealing with the inevitable periods of abstinence. Some couples use times of planned abstinence for non-genital ways of expressing their love and passion for each other, focussing on emotional and verbal intimacy. A strong emotional connection is an essential part of a satisfying and meaningful love life, and can greatly enhance a couple’s physical intimacy.

Moreover, it is not uncommon for couples to find short periods of abstinence helpful in keeping their sexual expectations of each other balanced. Many couples experience disappointment and frustration in their sexual intimacy when their relationship becomes dominated by unrealistic expectations of sexual intercourse. In such situations, ‘performance pressure’ can make both partners feel that they are failing sexually. The regular period of short-term abstinence required by natural fertility methods can provide a ‘circuit breaker’ from the pressure to perform sexually, giving couples time to build their relational intimacy and develop their passion for each other.

Stories of the Heart

“Regular exercise, limiting the junk food… these are just some of the things that take effort and self-discipline that we try to do because it’s good for us. The same can be said for natural fertility methods. Abstinence can be a real nuisance, but overall the positives far outweigh the negatives. And in fact, we’ve found that some of our most memorable and sexually satisfying times have been our reunion at the end of a period of abstinence; by waiting during the fertile phase, we find our longing and passion for each other develops.” – David

“Abstinence does have an upside! You really know what it is to hunger for someone when you have to wait.” – John

“While I never especially enjoy abstinence when we’re in it, I have to admit that it has its benefits; it provides me with a regular opportunity to remember that it is not only sex, but also love and intimacy that bonds me to my wife.” – Charles

“When we were engaged, we were fortunate to have known a number couples, including our parents, who encouraged us to find out about natural methods. We didn’t really understand why the Church accepted it and not other methods of birth control, but we trusted the Church, and those close to us – trusted that they had our interests at heart when they invited us to learn it. After fourteen years, we’re convinced of the truth in the Church’s teaching, and are thankful to those who challenged us to live this truth in the most important part of our married life.” – Ben