Is Cohabitation Different to Marriage?

Is cohabitation different to marriage? Lots of cohabitors will say ‘no’. We regularly hear comments to the effect: “We’ve been living together for 5 years – we’re just as committed as any married couple!” They seem offended by the suggestion that couples in marriage would be seen as more committed than they are. We recall…

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Love Busters and Love Builders

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What are Love Busters and Love Builders? Love Builders: a behaviour or gesture which communicates love to you and helps you feel close and connected to your spouse. Some Examples: Cherishment Caring for me, being tender and gentle with me Being of service to me, doing things for me that I enjoy Nurturing me, doting…

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Marriage Martyrdom

Blood Red In a sea of red, the Cardinals of the Church gathered over the past few weeks to farewell Benedict, elect his successor, and inaugurate Francis. The red of their dress signifies blood, not Christ’s blood, but their blood, that they have proven themselves ready to spill in service of the faith and the…

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Smart Dating #5: The Raunch Woman

The Raunch Culture A fascinating trend has emerged in the last decade or two. ‘The Raunch Culture’ refers to a subgroup of single women who dress seductively and drink and talk like ‘one of the boys’. Indiscriminate sexual availability, coarse language, feigned obsession with all matters sporting and revealing clothes are standard. While some women…

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Smart Dating #4: You Are What You Do

Almost everyone aspires to a happy, life-long marriage. Surveys across different cultures and various age groups all point to the predominant desire for a loving and stable family life shared with a partner with whom one can work as a team for the good of the family. And why wouldn’t we? We all know that…

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Smart Dating #3: 21st Century Courtship

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Dating With Purpose In times past, dating and courtship were closely linked to marriage in a clear sequence of relationship development. Dating was a low-commitment means of getting to know a person in their character. Once one individual was singled out for special attention, courtship followed and the unspoken assumption was that this was a…

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Smart Dating #2: Ask ‘Why’ before you Try

Sexual Compatibility Since the 1960’s the slogan ‘try before you buy’ became a common excuse for premarital sex. It’s still popular today and has underpinned the rise in cohabitation. We’ve been led to believe that ‘sexual compatibility’ is the most influential factor in a successful marriage. Of course when you think it through, the line…

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To Have and to Hold

The Meaning How often have we heard those classic words from the silver screen or at a church wedding!  At its most basic, “To Have and To Hold” refers to the physical embrace of husband and wife. “To have” is to receive without reservation the total self-gift of the other. It’s not a statement of…

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Marrying the ‘Right’ Person

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We came across a really interesting article the other day – You Never Marry the Right Person, By Timothy Keller. The author makes some really great points. Firstly, the Soul Mate thing that is so common among ‘marriage seekers’. We have this belief, that if we can just find our soul mate, that perfectly compatible…

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New Product: Grateful

Joy-filled Couples We all love to be around joy-filled couples. Their good humour and welcoming generosity make their homes places of hospitality for all their visitors and friends. People leave their presence refreshed and uplifted by their joyous delight in each other. A well-developed sense of gratitude is one of the distinguishing characteristics of happy…

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